they don't tell you that

Holy mother of slides. (Taken with instagram)

She refuses to sleep without that book. (Taken with instagram)

Climbing up the slide for the first time. Rebel without a cause (Taken with instagram)

queen of the slides (Taken with instagram)

When she cries, people think I’m kidnapping her. (Taken with instagram)

call-me-genderblind asked: I was just looking at the Insanity workout today because of a friend of mine started it. It seems amazing and I hope I could do it. What advice would you give to a beginner? I gained a lot of weight this past semester due to school and I want to shed the pounds this summer.

oh man, okay here are a few things i would suggest

- if possible, find a friend or a buddy who you can stay accountable to. it’s a lot harder to blow off a workout if you have someone you’re supposed to be working out with.

- don’t worry about how fast they’re going on the dvd. go as fast as you can go (without hurting yourself) and build from there

- really make the effort to eat things that are good for you. i can definitely feel the difference in my workouts if i ate crappy foods, as opposed to eating healthy things.

- take the before and after pictures (even just for yourself) - feels so good to see the difference, even only 2 weeks later.

i hope that helps! i realize the workout is expensive, but considering my results were comparable to that of personal training results, it’s actually a bargain!

i’ve done it. i’ve finished the insanity workout. i’ve also finished my second semester of school - hence why i’ve been missing from the blogosphere (i hate myself for using that word right now)

(a little back story for those of you who don’t know what’s going on - i had a baby in August 2010. during my pregnancy i gained 60+lbs. my daughter was born 8lbs 12oz. after 8 months of breastfeeding, a bout with postpartum depression, and a weak attempt at walking off my weight, i’d only lost about 30lbs of baby weight and was at a loss for what the hell was going on. i was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and elevated cholesterol - at the age of 27 - around my daughters first birthday. after getting my medication regulated, i was able to shed about 7lbs. so in january of this year my dr officially gave me the “you need to lose weight” talk…)

and here we are. 9 weeks after starting the insanity program and i’m done. i don’t even have the words to put into perspective what it was like. so instead i offer you numbers (some of which i swore i’d never share…)

1004 - highest number of calories burned during one workout

216 - number of hip flexor stretches i’ve done in 9 weeks

2 - number of pushup jacks i was able to complete on day one

23 - number of pushup jacks i was able to complete on my last day

1 - number of workouts i skipped

17 - number of times i told the TV to fuck itself

5 - number of times i cried during a workout

1 - number of times i threw up in my mouth during a workout

8 - number of times the neighbors walked by with “what the fuck are you doing” written across their faces

20 - number of times i pointed out people in the workout that i hate (“look at her. stupid head bobbing. bitch”)

27 - number of times i’ve recommended it to people since starting

5 - number of friends who have purchased and started the workout since i first shared that i’d be doing it

5 - number of pounds lost*

3 - number of pant sizes dropped*

*i want to emphasize that i did NOT follow the nutrition guide beyond the calorie count. i stuck with a calorie allotment (1500-1600) and ate within that. i don’t think shawn t intended for me to eat a handful of frenchfries as a snack, but as a result, my lbs didn’t drop as far as i’d hoped. my pant sizes, however, fucking ruled. i also want to add that i began counting calories more than a month before i started this workout. during which time i dropped 14 lbs. so today i am 20lbs lighter than i was when i visited the dr in January. (i’d like to add that my thyroid levels are finally at a good level and my cholesterol is now fine - sans medication)

this was certainly a life changing experience. today i am wearing jeans i bought in college and all of my underwear are falling off. time to shop.

what’s next? a week of recovery yoga, followed by jillian michael’s 30 day shred. to be continued…

oh and i have a lofty dream of running a half marathon within the year. who the hell do i think i am?

the more my kid talks (and talks and talks and talks and talks), the more i find myself explaining to people what she’s saying.

i am not only a mother, but a translator as well. (she’s not saying “moon”, she’s saying “spoon”. feed her)

considering adding that to my resume. seems legit.

Happy Mama day friends <3 (Taken with instagram)

my reasons for celebrating today. (Taken with instagram)